Today was the annual May Student Affairs Retreat and we had an exercise where we each had to talk about something that we want to pursue. I brought up writing and of course one of the suggestions was to blog. I immediately felt guilty about my neglected blog.... I'm not even sure if it counts as a blog if there is only one entry. Anyway, I came back and read through my first post and had a mixture of emotions as I read through it. At first I was disappointed with myself because as I read through the list of things I don't think I am where I envisioned myself when I wrote that post. Then I changed my mind about the being disappointed. I realized the whole point was about making small changes, and while I haven't been consistent, I have been making small changes. I have spent more time outside, cooked more, and watched less TV. I have continued to write, though I haven't been publishing it, and I have taken some extra time to read. I haven't started running again and probably am not spending less time on line, and I'm not as consistent with each of these things as I should be, but I am making small steps in the right directions and that was the expectation that I set out for myself. So why should I be disappointed? Instead I'm excited to think back and see that I have been doing some of these things and want to work toward being more intentional with them and doing them more often.
Additionally I am glad to see that a lot of the things that I talked about accomplishing in 2011 are continuing. The boundaries that I set before have been tested and I have continued to hold strong. I have been clear about my needs and I see more and more why they were important to set and how I am being protected by them, even though initially I was hurt. I am also continuing my commitment to both tithe and save.
I've also done a few things that were not on the list that I am excited about. I approached someone that I admire professionally and requested that she mentor me. I have been spending intentional time with her monthly. This has also led me to more seriously research and pursue my doctorate. I have been looking at all the options available to me and begun thinking about the steps that I need to take in order to begin that next step in my life. One of my favorite changes is that I have been spending more time with my family and precious niece.
We are five months into 2012 and it is not a perfect year, but it is a good year. Today, away from the haze of the first day of a new year, I am still optimistic. At this point it hasn't mean a huge change for my life, but it has meant change. Change for the better. Change that I didn't necessarily notice until I took the time to stop and reflect.
.... So I'm grateful for the retreat today, bringing back to my blog, encouraging me to reflect on my last few months, and encouraging me to write more. Hopefully it won't take five more months to write again....
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